A Tale Of Lordran

By Zyvalor

Many people know of the assessment story of “Priscilla and the Wimps, By: Richard Peck,” but have you ever wondered what happened afterwards? Well stop your wondering and listen closely.

The parents of the lead Kobra noticed that their son hadn’t come home from school one day. They notified the police and issued a search. After a long, worry full week with no leads, the police announced that there was nothing they could do. But at that moment, a former Kobra suggested looking in the school, which had recently thawed out.

They searched every class, closet, and were about to check lockers when they smelled something. Something so grotesque that they would have ran screaming, but since they were on a missing boy case, they didn’t. They found the source of the smell and opened the locker. Case closed, the boy was found, frost bitten all over and starting to decompose. They excavated the body and inquired who’s locker this was. It was Priscilla’s locker. They found Priscilla outside of her house, shoveling the snow. The police asked her three questions, “Did you kill this boy,” “Why did you kill him,” and “Do you have some feeling of accomplishment at hearing this boy’s fate?” She only answered the first question with, “Yes.”

In the news paper the next day, the main headline was, “Priscilla-local neighborhood school attender is confirmed accused of one of the most painful murder methods available: Freezing.” The police were so disgusted with her that they had to drive over 10,000 miles because they would not admit her into their local jail. They took her to what we currently cal the “North Pole.” But believe me, there was nothing holly or jolly about that place. In fact, not too many people knew too much about it. For example, it was a secret underground jail that’s entrance looked like a cliff, but it wasn’t.

It was a jail for the most radical murderers, terrorists, and extremists. Just the thought of it sent the Pentagon on edge. The policemen were utterly spooked. Villains either crawled, scratched, or tried to grab the policemen with their sharp, in untrimmed fingernails. It was even worse that Priscilla’s cell was all the way down, at the end of the building.

About halfway down the corridor, the policemen pushed Priscilla and hurried out. Priscilla wasn’t scared, but worried. Earlier, she was allowed one personal and non-lethal belonging. Her boyfriend made her a doll to remember him by. She didn’t want any of these psychopaths to lay a single finger on her doll.

As she entered her cell, the door automatically closed and locked by some unexplainable force. At this point, like most people, she began to reminisce about her life. What was good, what was bad, what was the sharp pain she felt in her ring finger? She looked down to see a small white rat had bitten her. She shooed the pest away and checked the bite. There was nothing there. No blood, mark, or bruise. Nothing.

After five minutes, the white rat returned with an apple in its mouth. Priscilla took no time to hesitate before taking chunk after chunk of the nutritious fruit. She suddenly felt full even though at least a quarter of the apple remained, so she threw the rest back to the rat. The rat seemed delighted with Priscilla’s choice and dragged the apple away. Almost an instant later, a man came up to her cell. This man wasn’t like the police, he wore armor that looked worn down from decades.

Priscilla decided that he was “Death” because he asked her if she had any last wish. She replied, “Bring my boyfriend here.” The man left without a word. Priscilla doubted that man would fulfill her wish. She looked down at her doll. If she and her boyfriend were together, then she would be happy.

As time passed, the temperature rose. Three months later, the temperature was so high that the police had to go back to make sure she was still alive and suffering… Meanwhile, the the man had reached Priscilla’s boyfriend and brought him to about 100 yards away from the jail, when the man told him to put on armor that he had brought. Complaints of overheating, ensued by harsh words from the man. He put the armor on. “Trust me, you’re going to want it” said the man…

Just as the police arrived at the jail’s cells, the biggest meteor you could ever imagine hit the Earth. I mean, you know what? Go to YouTube, search up “Final Fantasy 7 Last Boss Fight SuperNova.” I’ll give you some time.

Oh good, you’re back. Well, this meteor hit right about where Canada is today and made a giant crater. This crater went straight through the Lithosphere and into the mantle of the Earth, spewing lava around the molten sphere.

Normally you’d think that this tragedy is karma for Priscilla’s demise, but she was about a million miles in the sky right now. So was the prison and about 15 yards around it. The meteor had set off a chain reaction in the “North Pole” that the jail builders installed if the world should ever end. During all of this, a reaction in all of the body presences also happened. Most of the criminals turned into un-dead looking pygmies, the policemen too. Oh-ho, but Priscilla was no zombie, she turned into a crossbreed beyond recognition. She-was-part-DRAGON! Let me be more specific. She was about seven inches taller with pure white hair, clawed toenails, and a long white tail.

Her cell door was open, as were all the doors to the exit. To many she was an abomination, but she was one of the 10 that first set sight on the new beauty known as Lordran (or, if you prefer, the North Star).

Now, you may be wondering how there is more to Priscilla’s story. Here’s a hint, boyfriend.

Priscilla’s boyfriend inherited amnesia during the blast. Let me be honest, his name is Melvin Detweiler. He had slipped and fell into Priscilla’s cell. He noticed that there was a doll on the floor. A peculiar doll. Since he had no idea what he was doing in this jail, he decided that he would find the owner of this doll. Heck, he might feel less guilty. He left the cell and followed the path of open doors until he came to a cliff. As he looked off the cliff, he heard a rather unusual cry. Suddenly, a giant raven appeared and picked up Melvin. It then fluttered off to a nearby bridge, and dropped him. It wasn’t a giant fall, but enough to hurt.

What happened next you ask? DarkSouls, DarkSouls happened. This is why the doll looks “peculiar.” This is also why there is a giant white rat in the basement of a building. Finally, this is why Priscilla gives you a chance to return to your world. She recognizes you as her boyfriend and doesn’t want to fight you. As for the man Melvin was traveling with, let’s just say that “Oscar” Astora can tell you what happened. But for the record, he would just exclude the part about the YouTube searching.

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